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i know it's supposed to be: it's never too late to apologize, so don't try to be a smarty-ass by correcting me.

Diyana NurFarisha 230591 (18). Gemini. Avid listener to jap/korean songs.Loves their culture,music, movies and dramas. Enjoys drawing, sketching and painting during her free time. Is into photography and wishes to own her own nikon dslr someday. Wants to be multi-lingual and learn to play the piano or keyboard. enough said.
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Thank you for your words... It really woke me up from dreaming. It really hit the spot in my heart. I realize that i have been wasting my time for this few months...

Another heartfelt thanks is to sharfirin. Thanks for being a great friend.

well, another week gone so soon... the exams are nearing. I haven't start on my preparations for it. Rest assured, i'll try to make it...

My workload seem to be increasing daily. Damn, it's hard to really find time to relax and unwind these days. Worst still, mid-yr exams is just a week away.

Why is being fifteen so different from being fourteen...

Music just seem to be the cure...

Haha, can't wait for next month. Going to enjoy myself with the chalets and also my birthday!

I am indeed happier to be around others now...

Yeah! The speech day was a sucess! Both indoor and outdoor programmes were great. They were all at their best.

i made a blunder during the hentak kaki part. Damn. So embarrassing! Luckily, not all notice that. The outdoor contigents marching was great. They were all in top form. Before marching past, all our turning was coordinated. I feel proud of everyone. I couldn't believe it myself. The best part was, i think no one fainted!

The indoor performers were graceful. Each and everyone of them. First,the guest of honour was entertained by a hakka performance. After the two speeches, i took my prize. Iwas touched when my ncc mates cheered on for me.

Thanks a lot NCC GALS! Your're THE BEST!

i was super sleepy when i got home. Sheesh...it's time to grab my Zzss again.

Yeah! The speech day was a sucess! Both indoor and outdoor programmes were great. They were all at their best.

i made a blunder during the hentak kaki part. Damn. So embarrassing! Luckily, not all notice that. The outdoor contigents marching was great. They were all in top form. Before marching past, all our turning was coordinated. I feel proud of everyone. I couldn't believe it myself. The best part was, i think no one fainted!

The indoor performers were graceful. Each and everyone of them. First,the guest of honour was entertained by a hakka performance. After the two speeches, i took my prize. Iwas touched when my ncc mates cheered on for me.

Thanks a lot NCC GALS! Your're THE BEST!

i was super sleepy when i got home. Sheesh...it's time to grab my Zzss again.

This pic may have been a little too late. well, i'll upload it anyway. This is for 3e3:


I look ugly in this pic though.Haha!

Yeah, finally something to cheer me up! I passed my a maths test. Finally! HAha! Practice really makes prefect i guess.

Tired...

My energy is now draining out of my body. Today, is just Monday. Tomorrow, got to run 2.4 km and also speech day rehearsal. Gonna be real sleepy.Not to mention tired. Lucky bio test postponed to next monday. Thanks miss Lin.

haha, thanks to my brother, i am able to strum some tune out of his guitar. Finally! I have been looking forward to it long ago.

Celebrated my dad's birthday yesterday. Just have a dinner outing with my family. It's been long since we had a family gathering like that!

My mind are atill twirling with the Friends issue.

...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the borderline of the edge
And where I walk alone
Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone


This few sentences really express how i felt...

What am i doing? I am practically wasting precious time. Exams are coming!

This year although it's just been 4 months have been filled with a lot of ups and downs. For me, it's just like i don't know who my true friends are any more. i missed my childhood. If i could only turn back time . I would be happy even though it's just a short while. Well, i guess i just have to keep those memories in my heart.

I feel sad...real bad.

What does this picture mean to you? A picture speak a thousand word. They actually represent my feelings now. Loneliness...
Sadness...
Isolated...
Used...

I have been having this feelings this week. No one could break me free from it. People around me seemed so happy,enthusiastic and filled with joy in their lives. I am the total opposite. I hate this feeing.

People would not understand me... They just think i am happy go lucky. That may be true on the outside. but they can't see me through the inside. Inside, i am crying. Lonely...Lonely...Lonely...

I shall be free from this place one week from now after ten long years. Leaving this place was the dream of many others here. I was happy at first but feelings of fear, dejection and sadness began filling my heart. “Will the society look down on me. Will they accept me? What about my family?” These questions raced through my mind when I knew that I was going to be released.I was too ashamed to face my family members. What I did had shamed them terribly. I was thinking about the questions when suddenly, my mind recalled back how i landed here in jail.

I was only a mere teenager then. Only seventeen years of age. I had everything. I was the only child in my family. My father was a rich shipping tychoon. I was envied by many but i was not happy. Both my parents were constanly busy working that they neglected me. As i grew older, they paid less attention to me. They gave me a lot of freedom and would give any amount of money i asked without even questioning. That was when i went astray and began mixing with the wrong kind.I felt happier being around my new groups of friends. They appreciated me more. They treated me very nicely. Then, things change for the worst for me. I began smoking, shop-lifting and even involving myself in gang riots. I did not know what i was doing but everything i did with them really thrilled me. I often came home late but my parents still did not notice it.

I continued meeting my friends. We continued doing our crimes untill one day, they told me to do something for them. i agreed as all i had to do was deliver a parcel to someone near the jetty. " What is inside the parcel?"i asked. "It is nothing important . Just do as we say and you will officially be one of us now,"they said. I took the parcel and made my way to the jetty without checking it after they told me the desription of the man. I believed that they would not do anything to harm me. Little did i knoe that it was going to be the biggest mistake of my life.

I made my way to the jetty and saw the man with a group of others. They were all carrying big boxes of parcels. Just as i was about to hand him the parcel, i heard some shouting." Stop! You are under arrest! This is the CID! Attempt to run are futile! The area has been combed!"shouted the voice. I stood rooted to the ground. My heart beat vigorously when the policeman handcuffed me. I did not know what was wrong. I was speechless when i saw drugs coming out from the parcel as the police opened the it. My heart sank and i could not believed that my own friends would do this to me.How could they!

I was then sentenced to ten years imprisonment despite claiming that i was framed.I had no evidence to prove my case. My parents came to court. My father had tears streaming down his eyes.He had a shameful and disappointed look on him as i was led away. My mother on the other hand fainted after the sentence was made by the judge. I knew that i had shamed and hurt them terribly that day. My mother visited me in prison daily but my father never did. I did not blamed him for that. None of my friends came to see me too. I then realize that blood was indeed thicker than water.

"Mr Saw,"say the jail warden. I snapped out of my thoughts when i heard my name being called. I wiped away my tears and looked up to him. " It is time for you to go ," said the warden. I went up to him and followed him out of the jail cell. When i was out, i saw my parents waiting for me outside. My mother was overjoyed. I went up to my father and apologised to him.I really regretted my actions. Suddenly, he gave me a hug when i least expected. Tears of happiness felt down my cheeks. I knew my father had finally forgiven me. i vowed to them that i shall never commit a crime ever again. I had turn over into a new leaf . I was so happy and overjoyed when my other family members accepted me back too. Nothing that day could make me lose my happiness that i felt. Feelings of fear and dejection simply vanished to thin air.

What a busy week!again...

Yeah, 3e3 won second runner up for our international friendship day dance item. Thanks to our chereographers Sharfirin and Delaila. Thanks to mr jae too!

okay, stress is like heavy weights on my shoulders now. To top that up, i am now suffering from a nasty flu causing dryness to my throat. i hate this feeling. It just makes me feel down and takes all my happiness out of me! it makes me a totally different person.

now, at home, feeling so bored...hearing the same constant nagging despite it not being my fault. Seriously, i think i am rather relaxed in school than at home at times. I just feel so trapped! I want to let it all loose but it seems that something is bounding me from doing so. haiz...

did some chemistry practical just now. One of my liquid in my test-tube sprew out...haha, i was shocked at first...

why may i always having this stupid feeling. i hate it!!! friends are they all true to you...

I'm quite happy today...

Only days left until my i n e. So stress!

why must everything happen at the same time! I am only fifteen! well, not quite but still fifteen this year... Nevermind, i can still take the pressure now.

Ready to grab some ZZZs now!